I search for familiar cruelties in every person I love
there is no love without the pain of indifference
give me your cold shoulder
let me wither without your attention
keep me begging for your scraps

what is love without stinging barbs
how can you cherish me, if you don’t cut me down first
why would you want my body, if you couldn’t disparage it
I don’t know what it means to be gentle or tender
I’ve only ever seen love in manipulation and honeyed insults

how do I cope with your gentle caress
how do I survive your sincerity
how do I stop calculating when you’ll crush me
It seems that I cannot stop myself from planting bombs in our foundation
You can’t hurt me if I self-destruct

then maybe you’ll see
just like everyone else saw
I am nothing but ash
nothing
nothing