You tried to tell me I was basic
Like a pumpkin spice latte
I had to remind you that bleach is basic
And I can burn you just as badly

Why is it bad to be compared to pumpkin spice lattes in the first place?
I’m sorry you hate sweetness and comfort
That you cling to your fragile masculinity in the form of black bitter coffee
How joyless your life must be

Maybe I shouldn’t be yuck your yum
Even black coffee can have depth and complexity
It isn’t the coffee’s fault that you lack both