I have been at war with my body for as long as I can remember
I have fought battles over words, calories, and sugar
I whittled away at myself, trying to fit into the box others made for me

I have dieted, binged, and purged
I have prayed, cried, and cut away pieces of myself you didn’t love
I have done all this in the name of an ideal body

And now in this larger post-partum minefield, I am still
Not really at peace, but at least at a cease fire
Trying to find myself
Trying to be myself

I wonder if I’ll ever stop searching and obsessing

If I’ll ever love the body that gave me you